D. Michelle Gold

Lyrics

We'll buy that house in the 'burbs
With that white picket fence all around
I'll plant lilacs, for their scent
We'll have the best playhouse in town

I'll hang scalloped moray curtain drapes on our windows
I love to coordinate our bed spreads
Lamp shades and accessories

It'll be a clean slate
It's written on my palm
Oh, it'll be a piece of cake
And I'll be a soccer mom (This is crazy)

I'll get that recipe from Martha
The one I know you'd like me to try
I'll have chef Burke give me a hand
Then we'll baste, season and fry

I'll wake quietly at six and slip down to make your breakfast
Of pancakes and eggs (they'll be brown)
Then pack your lunch bag (grilled salmon with salad on the side)

It'll never be your headache
Our house will be calm
Oh, it'll be a piece of cake
And I'll be a soccer mom (Insane asylum)

We'll adopt some children - two point four
Become that all-American family
We'll play some sports, see the shows
You'll have fun, I can't wait, you'll see

I'll drive the children to school, all by nine
Then run to the cleaners
The bank, then the wine, and off to the grocery store (strawberries and whipped cream)
I'll pick up the children from school, promptly by three-thirty
Seatbelts the rule, put uniforms on in the back of the van
(a man's gotta do what a mom's gotta do)

They'll get strawberry shakes
We'll go to Baskin and Robbins
Oh, it'll be a piece of cake
And I'll be a soccer mom (What am I in for?)

After work, when you come home
We'll teach them theatre, music, and foods
You'll break wind, and say, "Excuse me"
We'll teach them manners, and not to be rude

I'll listen as you talk to our children at their bedtime
They'll laugh at your jokes, all in spite of yourself
(They're gonna love ya, love ya, I say)

Each moment I'm awake
Will be like a song
Oh, it'll be a piece of cake
And I'll be a soccer mom (Can you believe what I'm going through?)